Here comes another weekend of movies you selfish little bastards. It's the beginning of October so that means we're getting in to horror movie territory. I don't watch horror movies all that much. It isn't that I don't like them, it's that my Mom won't let me watch them. I'M 25 MOM! I CAN WATCH WHATEVER I WANT! NO I WON'T GO TO BED! FINE!
The Social Network
Synopsis: A story about the founders of the social-networking website, Facebook.
Rated: PG-13
In Theaters: Oct 1, 2010 Wide
Directed By: David Fincher
CAST
Jesse Eisenberg
Justin Timberlake
Andrew Garfield
This movie is getting fantastic reviews. Of course the first bad review came from Armond White who generally hates every good movie that comes out, and browses dictionaries while writing his reviews to sound more intelligent.
I'm interested to see this movie. I like the cast, I like the director, I like the writer, and I like Trent Reznor doing the music. The simple fact of it all is that it's a movie based on Facebook. It looks very interesting... but it's based on Facebook. I just can't see how it can get such good reviews. I heard it's really loosely based on the true story of how it began, but still, with all the creative storytelling...it's based on Facebook. The true story would be some Jewish kid with a fro sitting alone in his dorm starting a new website because all the other Hot or Not sites said he was ugly. But now he's worth 7 billion. I wish I was Jewish.
Let Me In
Synopsis: A bullied young boy befriends a young female vampire who lives in secrecy with her guardian.
Rated: R
In Theaters: Oct 1, 2010 Wide
Directed By: Matt Reeves
Written By: Matt Reeves
CAST
Chloe Moretz
Kodi Smit-McPhee
Richard Jenkins
Elias Koteas
This movie looks honestly pretty badass. It has the girl from 'Kickass' and the kid from 'The Road.' I've seen the original 'Let the Right One In,' and it was fantastic. Gruesome killing, good story, good writing, and haunting visuals. Everything I have seen in the trailer for this movie seems to of been taken from the original film and made it look better. But who knows, this is just another example of having to remake movies in America because no one has any fucking ideas anymore. I could careless about the new 'Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' movies because I saw the 3 that were already made.
"Oh, but I don't like subtitles!" - Bafflingly overweight woman eating mayo from the bin.
And that is why heart disease should be on our flag.
Is It Just Me?
Synopsis: "Is It Just Me" is a new gay romantic comedy. Blaine is a typical young gay man looking for love...without much success. Enter "Xander," the man of his dreams. After meeting in an online chat room, they quickly fall for each other and start a virtual relationship. Before long, they decide to meet face-to-face for a coffee date. But in Blaine's world, nothing comes easy. He discovers he's been chatting with his new online boyfriend under his roommate Cameron's profile. The problem is, Cameron is a sexy go-go dancer - and that's the guy Xander is expecting to see. Blaine persuades his roommate to pose as him during the date until he can win over Xander with his whit and charm. It's Blaine's brain versus Cameron's brawn as love blossoms within this threesome.
Yeah, to be honest, I looked at the poster, and I saw "New gay" and I basically have checked out at this point. Do I have problems with the gays? No. Hell, straight people piss me off more often than the gays. When I have a gay come over, he cleans my house just to be nice, and he always brings over wine. I don't even really like wine but this stuff is pretty good. Meanwhile, straight friends bring over forties and leave them on my coffee table while falling asleep in their boxers on my couch spooning my couch pillows. Wait, where was I?
Hatchet 2
Synopsis: Adam Green's Hatchet II picks up at the exact moment where 2006's Hatchet ends, wherein the quiet but hot-tempered Marybeth (Danielle Harris) is in a small boat in the Louisiana swamps, screaming for her life as she tries to free herself from the clutches of the deformed, swamp-dwelling killer Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder). Crowley has murdered Marybeth's family and other fellow vacationers who had come together on a tourist excursion in the swamp lands outside of New Orleans.
Rated: Unrated
In Theaters: Oct 1, 2010 Limited
Directed By: Adam Green
CAST
Kane Hodder
Danielle Harris
Tony Todd
I don't think there is a place in America where someone won't create a film where a deformed creature comes from the darkness to kill people. Whether it be a swamp, or the hills, or the woods, or Ikea, people will be getting killed anywhere. First, they'll split up, then someone has to go to the bathroom, then he dies, then the person who goes looking for that person dies, and then I go and get a refund and punch my friend for telling me to come see this movie. Seriously Dave? Best horror movie you ever saw. I'll show you a horror movie! No no, it's called 'The Shining.' What do you mean you don't like "old" movies? You can walk home.
